MISPLACED FEELINGS



I look. She smiles, her eyes gift me a pearl and it slips under the right-side wrinkles and then it drops. Right under her chin, the sky-blue scarf gets wet. She looks fixedly with wide-80-years eyes at my 20's. Looking back, she travels in time, to many years ago: traveling through time and place. Her 7-year-old voice speaks," first i was hurt, and all of a sudden i felt really tired. Like the world had denied me for everything i had. I have never been good at geography. I had hidden some part of me in a lighthouse." I stare at her opal ring on the sugar cube pottery, when she puts it in front of me. Immediately, she says" Drink your chay with something". I look up and she adds" since then, i take a shower every day but it does not erase my memory. You don't know how scary life is to me, since he decided to leave his emotions alone because he wanted something more. First he asked me to make my heart as wide as a sea, he wanted me to show love and be strong. But he filled himself with pride. He was like other sailors. Sailors have seasickness of waves, the sea and beach's repetition of
I love you
I love you
I love you
He got sick of me, he got me sick. The wave of my voice. . ."

The crushing sound of the cups devours the voice of a 7 year old girl and it faces me with an 80-years-old woman. I deeply breath in and my lungs vomit the freshness of cinnamon candies she offers me.

"Do you believe in this sayings 'when hearts cry, the angels cry'?" I did not dare to answer her question. An answer was unnecessary as it was enough to give the past another name. I talk about the mixture of colors at her home, all those signs of a lively life. Her eyes shine and she smiles.

© Elham

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